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This Christmas is another odd one. Started good then kids started in then hubby started in on them and I walked out of the room crying. Not sure why everyone has to be so pissy today of all days. Walked back in and laid down the law. They’d all straighten up or I’d cancel family plans and tell family exactly why. Seemed to work because other than a few dirty looks everything went well after that. We’ve driven through snow drifts taller than our truck to get to see my family. Ive never missed a Christmas even when I had surgery 4 days before. They must’ve knew I meant business because I wasn’t subjecting anyone else to their behavior.
The day seemed pretty perfect other than that half hour. Then hubby started obsessing over my tires. Seems it had worn down through some of the steel wires on the insides. This was my fault for not getting under there and noticing this I guess. He assured me that hitting the deer a couple weeks ago only damaged the grill and bumper and nothing major. He obsessed and complained a lot about how we would wreck on the way home until I told him to stop worrying the kids. We also weren’t heading home halfway through the first gathering (he hates Christmas and always fussed to leave early). If it was that bad then he would’ve insisted on taking his truck. When asked he said he didn’t have time to move the car seat. If you really thought we would die on the way home you would’ve taken 10 minutes to move things from one vehicle to the next right?? God and I aren’t on the best terms but I do still pray occasionally. Asking for things like good health, safe travels (yes for all of you too) and thanking Him for what we have as far as food, health, family etc. So I prayed. We arrived home safe. At one point I told hubby I had faith He would see us home so no, I wasn’t worrying. Huge step for this worrywort! But I honestly felt that we’d arrive safely and we did!
At the second gathering an adopted family member said she wore ear plugs because her tumors had come back. A year or so ago she said she had tumors but they were benign. They caused issues with her ears and such and they gave her a chemo pill. The pill shrunk them until the tumors couldn’t be found. She said then that it wasn’t cancer. Tonight I asked if these tumors were still benign thinking maybe they hadn’t gone away just become microscopic and she would take the chemo pill as maintenance. Her reply was ‘I don’t want to talk about it’. Another family member several times removed lol said she didn’t want to talk about how she was and it was said she had lost her mother a few months back. These things worry me. I’m calm, I’m not having much anxiety, but I’m praying like crazy for these women. I wish I knew exactly what to pray for and how I could help but it’s their choice to keep it to themselves. I’m guessing brain cancer for one and severe depression for the other. Neither want help or to talk but I casually mentioned I’d been in similar situations and understood and gladly talk to and listen to members of my Facebook support group. I’m hoping those hints were understood and if they want to talk they know they can come to me if they want. The one with tumors has aged 10 years since I saw her this summer which tells me she’s under a lot of stress. Seems an uncle has the same issues with his ears but from a head injury not tumors. Living over an hour away and having my mom deceased means nobody thinks to let me know these things. Normally this hurts but tonight I’m just sad for them. I don’t know how to help.
It does amaze me though that I stopped my med for depression/anxiety and I’m not freaking out over these things. Although I’m wondering why I’m so calm and not crying over it like I usually would even on the medication. Perhaps because this time of year my faith is much stronger than usual. Perhaps because I know deep down worrying won’t help and I can’t do a single thing unless someone lets me. I’ll just be here when/if they decide they want or need me for anything. Thank you FS friends for being here. I always know that if I need you I only have to ask and you’ll jump I’m with suggestions, advice or a kind word or two! Or set me straight lol. Best diet buddies ever!
View Diet Calendar, 26 December 2018:
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2960 kcal
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Fat: 160.19g | Prot: 107.33g | Carbs: 255.67g.
Lunch: Best Choice Cheddar & Herb Biscuit Mix, Cooked Carrots, McCormick Poultry Gravy Mix, Idahoan Foods Original Mashed Potatoes, New Braunfels Smokehouse Hickory Smoked Boneless Breast of Turkey. Dinner: Ritz Reduced Fat Crackers, Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Pillsbury Original Crescent Rolls, Hillshire Farm Beef Lit'l Smokies, Hidden Valley Ranch Dip, Fritos Scoops! Corn Chips (Family Size), Rotel Cheese Dip. Snacks/Other: Blue Bunny Personals Bunny Tracks, Apple Dessert Crisp. more...
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1678 kcal
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Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours, 3PLUS - 1 hour, Apple Health - 0 minutes. more...
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