peeperjj's Journal, 12 May 19

😍🤤 

Yum yum yum 

I just know the word "decadent" has to be in the title of this fabulous dessert! 

I say brownie sundae. 😋 

oh my, you make me want one. I been trying so hard to not want those kind of things. 

Mad don’t let food control you  

well ok. now I feel better about the cheesecake we had today.  

Mad, if these pics are a trigger for you then pass food pics until you are a bit stronger with your diet. It takes a lot of willpower at first. I’m in maintenance and trying to gain muscle so these things can be added back in my diet. Last Mother’s Day I had a bit of chocolate as a treat but not the whole dessert. One day at a time. It helps knowing that one day you’ll be able to have a small portion of things like this if you have the strength to resist now. I do have to say this though, you CAN have things like this in small amounts even now. BUT make sure it fits into your calorie goals for the day and any other diet restrictions you have 😉.  

No funnel cake and I don’t know the name of it. It’s normally a frozen dessert with a brownies on the bottom, ice cream then a homemade chocolate sauce on top. The brownie is always frozen solid and so hard to eat. My aunt decided we should just eat them separately so the kids make the brownies and my aunt makes the sauce and buys the ice cream. Loaded in calories but oh well. It’s once a year! It looks like way more chocolate in the pic but I didn’t get that much. Brownie is maybe 2”x2” and I got one scoop of ice cream using an ice cream scoop so it should be right about 1/2 cup. I also had a cheeseburger with lettuce and bun only, the egg while from a deviled egg my kid didn’t want, one handful of chips and a sausage plain, no bun. I was miserable for about half an hour then was ready for more. Decided if I didn’t have anything else then I could have a snack tonight. That was enough to keep me from going back! Had a single soft taco on a carb balance tortilla heavy on the meat for dinner. Wanted a pork chop and rice (around 300kcal) but again, I want my snack later :). The guilt of eating poorly got to me this weekend lol.  

@peaches, don’t feel bad about your treat! It’s a special day and you deserve something special. We just can’t make a habit of it 😉.  

peeperjj Thank you for your support. I have just embarked on this new journey with the attitude this time I will make it. Easter happened and I did fair. One small binge. Lost a small amount after. Yesterday Mother's Day. I fell completely of the wagon. My son worked a mid and was home by 11 PM. He cooked for me and brought me a treat an apple fritter. Now this morning I need a fresh start. I picked up that last apple fritter and ate it for breakfast. I am so ashamed. I live with my son who's goals are the opposite of mine. He works out and is trying to gain. He buys all the groceries as I don't drive any more. Most days it is hard to find food that I need. I am determined to follow my cardiologest advise, no more than 2 G of sodium. To also get more active and fit. I am going by my age, hight, and weight for the calories of 1597. Most days I eat less. I will put yesterday and this morning behind me.  

@mad, my advise would be to learn to love yourself and not be so hard on yourself about those ‘mistakes’. Those apple fritters didn’t hurt you they just stalled progress for a bit maybe. Set the son down and have a heart to heart. I’m willing to bet that if you have him a Lait he would get things you wanted. Or better yet, ask him to drop you off at the store once a week. He does his shopping and you do yours. You can have some visiting time there and back. Plan out some healthy meals that you both could enjoy. Just plan on a double portion for him. My hubby has always been a big eater and still is now that he’s working out a lot. He also had his treats, the kids have theirs (he and they often share) and I have mine. Works best for us that way. You also don’t have to have a large deficit. You’ll lose, albeit slowly, on a 200-300 kcal deficit. Then when you hit a plateau you can cut another 200 off or exercise more. A cheap set of 5# weights is good to get started. I myself am still using those and my 8#. Or aim for a daily walk if you are able. Also make sure you get treats. If it’s an apple fritter you want them plan ahead and make room for it in your calorie budget. Feel free to message me if needed. Or there’s tons of support on here :).  

Peeperjj excellent advice! 

Ty Rosio. Mad, that should say ‘if you have him a list’. My typing isn’t so good when I’m tired. Not much better when I’m fully awake though lol.  

Told ya, autocorrect hates me lol  

@peeperjj Thanks for that. I have to remind myself once in a while. I came from a very dysfunctional family. My mother had favorites and I was not one. She told me e everyday that I was worthless and she wished I was never born. After I left home it took a long time before I could feel good about myself. Thank you for the reminder. I am someone of worth. I will get back up and go back to remembering I am beautifully made and loved by God. I have learned how to fit a treat into my diabetic life. I was not counting calories just the sugar. Now I need to fit food into 2 more categories calories and no more than 2 G of sodium. Just getting started so am learning new stuff.