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So, here's the new stressor, and it is a BIG one (for me!) Beginning this Sunday, my husband and I will be taking care of his mother, who had a stroke on Sunday. She has been staying with his sister since she got out of the hospital on Monday, but she is leaving Monday for a 10-day vacation. My SIL is an immaculate housekeeper, and her house is always company-ready, with a guest room. I am NOT, and any time my MIL is coming over, I go to great lengths to make things at least presentable. Having her stay at my house is not an option. Not only do we have no place for her to sleep, but I don't want her here long enough to find out how just UN-immaculate my house really is! Therefore, between my husband and myself, we will be staying with her 24 hours a day for 7-10 days. Personally, I don't think she needs 24-7 care. The only effects from the stroke are that she now has (temporary) limited use of her right hand and she has almost fallen twice since she's been out of the hospital. As her caregivers, we are also expected (by my SIL and my husband's aunt, my MIL's sister) to cook her three nutritious meals a day. My husband is a Pastor, and he prepares his messages (for Sundays and Wednesdays) at home on his desktop computer. He spends a lot of time in sermon preparation, designing and printing the bulletin and study guides, etc. He'll need to be at home to do that, so I'll need to be staying with Mama at a very minimum during those times. More likely, I'll be spending most of every day there, and my husband will spend the nights.
In addition to all that, my daughter has increased from working one day a week to three days a week, and I am the babysitter for her two children (ages 12 and 7).
She is also supposed to move into our basement in two weeks, and I'm having knee surgery in four weeks. It makes me exhausted just writing about this. Trying to remember, though, that the Lord will never give us more than we can handle.
On a positive note, I saw my PCP today, and got the all-clear for surgery. Next, I have a pre-surgery consult with the surgeon on 7/10, and my Pre-Admission Testing on 7/20 before the surgery on the 27th. Then, it's all about recovery!
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86.3 kg
Lost so far: 31.2 kg.
Still to go: 18.2 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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1645 kcal
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Fat: 89.85g | Prot: 31.17g | Carbs: 191.41g.
Breakfast: Butter, Domino Sugar Granulated Sugar, Great Value Sun-Dried Raisins, A2 2% Milk, Pecan Nuts, Quaker Old Fashioned Oats. Lunch: Fritos Flavor Twists Honey BBQ (Package), Tyson Foods Beef Pot Roast in Gravy, Sunbeam Giant White Bread, Duke's Mayonnaise. Dinner: Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Act II Butter Lover's Popcorn, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Nature's Own Brioche Style Butter Rolls. Snacks/Other: Dairy Queen Chocolate Shake - Small, Keebler Whoopsy! Fudge Stripes, Hershey's Kit Kat, Honeydew Melons, Sweet Cherries (Queen Anne, Bing). more...
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Losing 0.6 kg a Week
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 Comments
Yikes. Definitely bring the grands over to keep great grandma company. Maybe they can play cards or watch videos. Great grand needs walks as much as she needs food. If my messy self had to stay in a pristine house for a week, I would have to add a little disorder to it each day. Move this knick knack to face a different direction, reline the trashcan wrong (but so it still works), leave a little old toothpaste outside the tube, move the table over 2" 😂 It's good of her she is taking this on, and you're right - it's a lot 😵💫
30 Jun 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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I'm sorry these multiple chores are falling on you. I haven't the slightest idea how this will all go. It's a tough situation. My heart and prayers are with you.
01 Jul 23 by member: Snowwhite100
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I was caregiver for my parents (Alzhemiers & Parkinsons) it was extremely exhausting but I had my own room & my sweet dog & cats that took some of the stress from me. Also my brother helped. I didn't think I would survive but did and and now I miss them & I'm glad I was strong enough to have been there for them, even though at times I was almost at the edge! Take care of YOU also :-)
01 Jul 23 by member: JMA312
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I know how difficult it can be dealing with an elderly family member. Just try to be patient, and hold your MIL up in prayer! You have a lot going on and I'll pray for you and your family.💜🙏
01 Jul 23 by member: Diana 1234
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The Lord does sometimes give people more than they can handle, then just sits back and watches the shit show happen. I guess he gets bored too.
01 Jul 23 by member: Kenna Morton
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LOL Kenna! On the face of it, it certainly looks overwhelming to me. I think the key to getting through it is accepting that none of it is going to be executed perfectly, then being okay with "the best I can" being good enough.
01 Jul 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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Wow, honee. That is brilliant and I agree with all your points.
01 Jul 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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just remember the lord is in control
01 Jul 23 by member: i-can-do-it-123
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Wow. That’s a lot! Prayers for STRENGTH!
01 Jul 23 by member: StormsGirl
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01 Jul 23 by member: -MorticiaAddams
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It's a tough curve ball life has thrown you Debbie, but I have seen you through the years just straighten your shoulders and Do It! when you set your mind. You are my inspiration and I and my whole church will be praying for You, Husband and Mama. Would it be OK if you tell me her first name only and I put her in our book of prayer intention?
Love and hugs!
01 Jul 23 by member: PattiOB
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Thank you for all the prayers! PattiOB, my MIL’s name is Jackie. The family has lightened up some as far as thinking she needs 24/7 care. She stayed home alone Friday and Saturday nights, and she’s getting a ride to church this morning, and will go out to lunch with two of the church ladies. My husband went over there yesterday to be there in case she fell in the shower - but she did fine using the hand holds my SIL’s husband installed in the bathroom. He also took her to the store to pick out cards for all the July birthdays, and she did well walking and standing. My SIL loaded her up with plenty of healthy foods. This week, I am going to make Lasagna with Salad and Chicken Casserole with Parsleyed Potatoes & Green Beans, and my daughter is making a Pork Roast for which I’ll make Sauerkraut and Mashed Potatoes. We bought her special cutlery with big fat weighted handles, and that really helped her with being able to eat without the frustration of dropping the silverware or the food not staying on the fork or spoon long enough to get it to her mouth. She still needs to work on being able to sign her name, but my husband is Power of Attorney for her and can sign her checks until she gets back her fine motor skills.
I’m doing well. Not nearly as stressed as I was, thank the Lord! I can now say, “My surgery is THIS month.” Continuing to work on my PT exercises daily, and still walking five miles a day through my house. After surgery, my first goal will be to walk 1/2 mile a day (which is where I started my walking journey). I’m hoping to increase to 1 mile a day within the first two weeks.
Ok, speaking of walking - it’s already after 5am, and I’ve only done one mile so far. Back to it!
Thanks again, everyone, for the kind words, encouragement, and prayers!
02 Jul 23 by member: Debbie Cousins
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Good to hear you MIL is doing so well. And that your stress level is down. I'm sorry you feel obliged to keep your house clean to impress your in-laws, if it were me, I'd just live my life my way, and let them love me for who I am. You're a very kind, caring person and that's what's important. 💚💜💛
02 Jul 23 by member: shirfleur 1
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Hubby and I took care of his mother with dementia for almost 2 years. Now my siblings and I are taking care of my mom who had a stroke in December. She needs pretty much constant care. I'm down here staying with her this past week. Will be back in 2 weeks and stay for 10 days. I come for at least a week once a month. My sister and brother sare with her the rest of the time. It is hard for everyone, but worth it to keep her out of the nursing home. Your plate is very full, praying you handle it all with strength and grace.
02 Jul 23 by member: rhontique
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Debbie Cousins's Weight History
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