Debbie Cousins's Journal, 28 Aug 23

Debbie, i have a banana chocolate chip protein muffin recipe that is pretty good and under 200 calories per muffin (somewhere between 135-200 depending on choc chips quantity used). Do you want me to send it to you. It’s what i use for my sweet taste and fools my eye as looks yummy. Has about 7-14 grams of protein depending on if you double the protein amount. Throw that junk out. The act of putting it in the garbage and then pouring something on op to make inedible like coffee grounds may actually be cathartic. We have to keep moving my friend. Up and at ‘em. Push thru this thing thats trying to keep you a prisoner ok. 💋 xoxo and hugs to you. 

YOH, I really appreciate how invested you are in my success. You’re very kind and loving, while still not letting me get away with putting crap into my body. I’ll get there. I’d love to have the recipe. I’d be willing to give it a try. The muffin I ate today was good, but it wasn’t worth 402 calories. Hopefully, I’ll be able to resist having another one tomorrow. The way my brain works is that I have to get to an “enough is enough!” place in my head, and then a switch flips that lets me make the needed changes. Until that point, I feel pretty powerless to do what needs to be done. My inner child is a spoiled brat who wants what she wants, and wants it NOW! You haven’t known me long enough to have gone through what ended up being a TWO-YEAR derailment. Through it all, everyone still supported me and loved me in spite of my self-sabotage. I receive all the encouragement, reprimands and suggestions in the kind spirit with which they are offered. Keep on nudging me in the right direction. I’m praying it won’t be too long before I turn things around! 

Debbie, it seems like you are in good control of your weight. You knew it would rise a little based upon what you are eating. That is a great place to be!!! You can lose when you want to, and when you want to indulge, you also know what to expect. That is taking control (a.k.a. bio-hacking). Good job on the walking. But, don't push too hard to get to 4 miles. I pushed too hard recently can caught an injury (a set back). Slow and steady wins the race. 

3 large (about 300g or 1 cup) extra ripe bananas mashed 1 large egg 1/4 cup (60ml) maple syrup or honey 1 tablespoon oil* 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 cup (120g) all-purpose flour or whole wheat pastry flour 1/2 cup protein powder or use additional 1/2 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg optional 1 tablespoon cornstarch optional 1/2 to 1 cup chocolate chips or chopped nuts optional Instructions Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Prepare a muffin pan with cooking spray or paper muffin cups and get out of all the necessary ingredients. In a medium mixing bowl, combine mashed bananas with egg, maple syrup, oil and vanilla. Stir vigorously until the mixture is smooth. In a separate large mixing bowl, combine the dry ingredients - flour, protein powder, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and cornstarch. For best results, spoon flour into cup (rather than scooping with cup) and then level using a butter knife. If adding in additional mix-in, such as chocolate chips, toss in the flour mixture. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture and add wet ingredients. Gently stir until just combined. Don't overmix - some small streaks of flour are fine. Spoon batter into the prepared muffin tins filling each one completely full and top with a few additional chocolate chips, if desired. Bake muffins for 5 minutes at 425 degrees F. and then with muffins staying in the oven, reduce heat to 350 degrees F. and bake muffins for 12-15 minutes more. The high heat will cause muffins to rise and then you will lower heat to cook the center of the muffin. I recommend checking muffins after about 12 minutes because mine were completely baked by 13 minutes. Remove from oven and allow muffins to cool in the pan for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. You might need to run a butter knife along the outer edge of the muffins to loosen them from the pan. Notes. (Debbie, i put in about 3/4 cup protein powder and sometimes 4 bananas instead of 3 but if you do that they will be really moist). If you follow exactly it is 117 calories. 7 grams protein. Let me know what you think. Super easy to make and i dont cook nor bake! 

Keep in mind if you add choc chips you up the calories. I use 1/2 cup. 

Also, at least you understand you are sabotaging yourself. I think when you get to a very healthy place, very healthy weight and are very mobile (lot of variables (lil joke). You may feel differently about setting yourself back. From a purely honorable place i sometimes remind myself to take care of this vessel the Lord has granted me with. You would think that would be enough but sadly only works at times. Best best luck and wishes on your journey 

Welcoming you to our 30miles/week group challenge ! 🚶‍♂️🏃‍♀️ 

I'm so impressed with the three miles, you go girl. This is a process not a race. Recovery requires just enough exercise because doing too much can cause it's own problems. I trust you are following the recommendations of your health care professionals. Good job debbie 

I did this challenge for 1 month and had really good results. The challenge is to keep yourself doing it even when you don’t want to. So I took that time to listen to a podcast and split it into 35-40 min walks twice a day. Once in the morning and one in the evening to unwind. Good luck! 

I would be in your shoes if I ate kettle chips with sour cream. My brain works the same way. I was caught up in bad choices and weight gain. I hit a pretty deep bottom before I could take action to turn it around. I chose fasting over daily caloric restriction so I could continue to eat what I wanted as I lost weight. I can't sustain a restricted calorie diet with forbidden foods. I hope the thing that needs to change in your mind or your circumstances does so soon ❤ 

I go through some out of control periods and then straighten up for a while.  

That's great you're walking further!!!  

Debbie, That is a long walk. You should be so proud ⚘️ 

fun fun fun fun 

Day by Day..once your healed practice getting up and down off the floor its a good thing to know if you cant get on your knees!  

Wow! That’s a huge accomplishment!! Your determination is impressive! 

Debbie -- I'm impressed you're covering that much ground with a walker. I'm not covering that much without one. Such dedication! 😁 I haven't said anything up until now, but I'd encourage you to consider improving your dietary quality. Your taste buds will follow if you start eating healthier foods to the point where the kettle chips and muffins don't hold the same allure. I've been impressed with your progress, but I know I couldn't keep my weight down eating those foods