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Happy January.
[size=5]And so a new year begins, and so one resolution doesn't change. And so one thing stays the same through time, the desire to lose weight, to be less, to take up less space... To be "less" of a screw up. I want to do things with the girls, like take them to the pool, or places (at least for Bella) like the museum, or I think they'd both like the zoo - but I just don't have the money. I feel like I'm stealing from mum at every opportunity (cc) and I keep saying in my head "I'll pay that back next pay" but next pay comes and it's all used up and there's no extra to repay mum anything. To be fair, there's a few things she said she'd do, and hasn't, like buy me clothes if I lost weight, and so I've only had one pair of shorts which hasn't mattered cos it's not been warm, but I eventually bought some stuff (hoping they fit, and if not, well I'll just have to lose til they do!) I feel guilty because I do have so much, and in a twisted way I'm still caught in this web of not exactly self destruction/eradication, because I don't want it to get to that point, but I would like to be nice and angular, less flabby, less blobby, more bony. I'd like to be the elusive size 8, but non vanity sized, so I guess nowadays that's probably a vanity 6 haha. I only ever remember making it to 26" before. With the invention/incorporation of elastane in jeans, I'd like to make it to a 24". Margi is a 24" (too big on her now at 41.6kg!) and im not saying I have to weigh the same cos I'm taller, but yeah I wanna get there.
Finally (just) back in the 7s again. Now if I don't breathe, I might just stay here for a day or so! Haha. It's been a long time. This is the day I could see A having the upper hand esp over gd, and I didn't seem to mind. I just said to myself, Eat Less, Move More - and ELM became my new little reminder to myself. Gotta keep moving baby cos its a long way down.
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57.9 kg
Lost so far: 40.9 kg.
Still to go: 4.9 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 02 January 2012:
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45 kcal
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Fat: 0.33g | Prot: 1.96g | Carbs: 10.93g.
Lunch: Cucumber. more...
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Losing 6.3 kg a Week
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