Egull1's Journal

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03 June 2024

It's funny. Of late I've definitely been experiencing the distinction between walking through life with a spiritual lens vs. an intellectual one. And, I have to say the view is so much more expansive through the spiritual one.

So, about a week ago, Sunday - my energy levels finally hit their peak in post covid recovery. I had just finished making a dinner to freeze and planned on throwing together an apple salad for dinner. But, I gotta tell ya folks, this body felt wiped out. My legs felt shaky and I was starting to feel like I did after turning in my portfolio for my graduate degree many moons ago...

An empty shell of myself.

I looked at Mom and finally surrendered. "I need to go lay down and take a nap." She replied, "I think that's a very good idea." Billy, who has seen less of me than more lately was ecstatic about this and the 2 pics of him down below speak volumes. He was happy to have some cuddle time with his Mama - even if we were just napping. When I closed my eyes, the first thing I noticed was just how quiet, still, and peaceful everything felt. And, before ya know it this girl was OUT! I slept over an hour and when I woke up, my body felt drugged. But, I have to confess for some reason after that nap, it felt like I was finally rounding the corner after dealing with Post "Rona" recovery. And, since then my stamina is increasing by leaps and bounds.

My average resting heart rate is finally back down to 53 bpm clocking in at a nice 47-49 bpm throughout the day. All my workouts are starting to feel less challenging, which is also nice because there's been an increase in reps for both upper and lower body weights and at this point some genuine "hypertrophy" is taking place.

I had some calories to make up for as usual so we decided to do homemade pizza last Wednesday. Mom showed me how to make the dough, which is very easy and we already had our toppings on hand. I'm not sure why, but I was feeling in a combative, defensive, somewhat self righteous mood that day. My mother and I kept rolling in these discussions that quickly evolved into "tit for tats". It's not terribly unusual. But, one of us often nips it in the bud because those types of discussions are rarely productive and are frankly a waste of energy.

I will insert a caveat that is important to note in this entry. The divine universe has been known to work through me even when I'm in a self righteous not so loving way. When the "divine" has a purpose and the soul has a mission, nothing will thwart it - not even our own egos.

That being stated, after pizza my mother and I got into another tif regarding how we all caught "Rona". Because, in the irony of all ironies we caught it from the very hospital she had her shoulder surgery. I won't go into detail, but this hospital is what I might consider exceedingly medieval in its practices. It wasn't so bad when we first moved here several years ago. But, after the pandemic it went downhill very fast. And, at this point is really more a refuge for homeless folks and drug addicts and doctors and nurses who know about as much as a first year med student.

In our "discussion" on Wednesday I informed my mother that going forward I may need to wear a mask at home if she has any future stays at that hospital because I can't take the risk. Her response was reactive and she blurted out that this will be the last surgery she ever intends to have. So, of course I responded with,

"I'm not talking about surgeries! You don't know what the future will bring, you could have a heart attack and have to be admitted!"

I also want to insert here that I did not use the word "heart attack" with intent or any conscious intuition. I was actually kinda grasping at straws to think of another condition outside of surgery that would require a hospital stay. Heart attack was just the first thing that popped into my head. Common' folks! I wanted to WIN this argument. And, in a BIG way - I did in more ways than one.

Of course, she came back with the typical "Elder" stubbornness. Waxing on about how she didn't care what came up, she wasn't going to the hospital ever again. And, she had a DNR in her living will...etc, etc. Which then led us to discuss/argue about whether an ambulance would honor one's request about which hospital a patient wanted to be taken too.

I informed her I felt fairly sure paramedics would honor a requested hospital. I let her know when I resided in Philly, they definitely honored one's preference and since people have doctors in this area that reside in differently hospitals - I felt inclined to think they had to honor a patients request to be taken to their hospital of choice. This was the last part of that conversation before we both took our leave and got ready for bed.

At about 2:53 I get a call on my cell phone and it was from my mother upstairs informing me the paramedics had arrived and were taking her to the hospital of her choice because she was having chest pains. And, when I made it up the steps - I observed immediately her pallor was pale and she looked weak.

Turns out, my mother was indeed having a mild heart attack not but 4-5 hours after having that conversation. She now has 3 stents to open up some of the blockages, is on a blood thinner and statin for the next year. The hospital of her choice was AMAZING. The cardiologist team took extremely good care of her and has so restored a LOT of my faith in medicine and especially SKILLED medical practitioners.

The first thing I said, when the paramedics closed the door to take her to Sacred Heart was

"She did exactly what she needed to do, Thank God! And, just as importantly she did exactly what I wanted her to do."

And, then I thought about her conversation and realized why that whole conversation had to take place in exactly the way it did.

I've always said in the past, the divine works through all of us in mysterious ways. It helps when our minds are "empty" or clear, but frankly I've learned many times God doesn't care whether your mind is open or closed, self righteous or amenable, peaceful or combative - if there is a message, an action, a manifestation to put forth...God will find a way even if it's through an argument! LOL

Anyhow, she is back at home and doing very well. As one of cardiologists stated, "she is one healthy lady!". The plaque build up in her arteries is not from the lifestyle she's been living the past 14 years, but very likely prior when she was 115 pounds heavier and did have high blood pressure. This is concurrent with recent research regarding the impact of diets high in saturated fat. We do eat "unsaturated fat", but "good cholesterol" is not necessarily a panacea for plaque build up. That being said, we highly suspect there's some other things at play here and all I'm going to say is if you have a doctor trying to put you on an inordinate amount of vitamin D - be cautious and request to see what your calcium levels are. Vitamin D in high doses can increase calcium levels in the blood and if those levels become abnormally high, it can contribute to calcification around the artery wall. So, even if you don't have a full blown blockage, that can change quickly.

Just something to consider...Oh, and the pizza we had was actually very low in saturated fat. We only use olive oil in this house for cooking and baking dinners and veggies. Mom's willing to pay the $$$ for extra virgin. She had goat cheese on her pizza that night which is very low in fat. The meat on the pizza has saturated fat, but we eat our homemade pizza very rarely. It's NOT a staple in our diet. All our prepared meats are predominately lean; chicken, fish, pork, and turkey.

Anyhow, just thought I might post an update. I truly hope everyone is doing well, enjoying God's grace, and having a blessed day.

(13 comments)

22 May 2024

It's interesting to be on the struggle bus and relieved at the same time. Had my first blood draw yesterday to see what the collateral damage is post "RONA". I'm not going to lie - she hit this system hard. Everything is a push for me right now and I'm not used to going from a space where I can turn on a dime, hustle like no one's business, and still pull out 30 miles on the bike and not blink twice. This drain feels much like my first year after the MS flare up in 2017. Dizzy spells, lack or coordination, forgetfulness and my sense of smell is slooooowly coming back.
That being stated, I was genuinely relieved and thankful for my T-cell results yesterday. The last blood draw before "Rona" had me at beautiful 44% Lymphocyte range (which, is very good). Yesterdays blood draw was at 27.6%. So, yes "Rona" took a hit, but she didn't tank me. It's at the lower end of normal, but it's still normal.
I'm still keeping up with all my workouts and care-giving tasks as my Mom recovers from her last and final joint surgery. But, definitely moving at a much slower rate. Still, at least I don't have to walk around with a mask all the time and live like a girl in a bubble. Am also very thankful I got this version of the virus. It became clear to Mom and I after my temp hit 102.7 that the first couple of versions of this thing would have taken me out, very literally. So, the universe has definitely been watching out for me over the past few years.
Nothing else to be done, but take this body where it's at and transcend from there. She fought a good fight and won. And, I'm very proud of my immune system. I've had many private conversations with my t-cells since this virus came out. And, as I stated to my care team yesterday "I know my immune soldiers have mis-behaved in the past, but when push comes to shove they knew exactly what there mission was and they did exactly what they were supposed to do." Have a very blessed and beautiful day my FS peeps!

(15 comments)

18 May 2024

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
53.8 kg	41.5 kg	0 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Gaining 0.3 kg a Week

14 May 2024

Mini update - I reached out to my care team yesterday and gave them a condensed version of my first experience with RONA similar to what I put in my last FS post. Nurse Christy responded with:

"I am so glad you fought the battle and won!!! Your message had us giggling. Dr. Craddock is happy to order a CBC for you, she just wanted you to be aware that after COVID or any other severe infection, your counts can be "off" for a while until they finally self-correct. We can draw this, but it may need to be repeated. I will put the order in, it is up to you."

A few things bare noting for context here. Christy is purposely referring to my counts as potentially being "off" instead of using the word "low" because my specialist and me have a long standing argument/debate of t cell -count threshold. Jessica goes more by the western model and likes the "cut-off" to be around .6 or less before taking a patient off their meds.

I'm of course, less brazen with my immune system. It's true that PML --> progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy & death from JVC is rare. But, if I'm hopping around the MS forums and come across random posts stating

"Yeah, that person isn't around anymore. Their t-cell count got to low from their ms meds and they died from PML..."

That tells me, the bottom line is there ARE folks who have died within the my community specifically because their meds wiped out their immunity enough that they had no protection from any cold/flu/virus at all. So, my t-cell count threshold is on the higher end around .8 X 10(9) per L.

However, this is a different situation. Depending on what we find, If my t-cell count is extremely low right now - it wasn't technically my meds that tanked them. That credit would belong to RONA. It puts us all in a pickle of a circumstance. But, I'm not inclined to get off the ms med even if the virus wiped out my immune system's army because in this case given some time, my t-cells "should" be able to recover.

But, I'm also aware that because of the immuno-suppressant I'm taking - regeneration of new t-cells may not happen quickly and I'm also aware I may never hit the 44% I was before. But, I can live with that as long as I'm around .8 X10(9)/ cells per Liter.

So, my response was

"Definitely, put the order in so we can see what the lay of the land is. And, let Jessica know it's okay I'm not going to panic if the t-cell or WBC count is super low. I'm definitely staying on the the meds. In fact, right now I'm very diligent about taking them because if I do have any tired soldiers left - I'm not about to let this system use friendly fire. Last thing we need right now is a flare up in any, way, shape or form. But, some precautions may need to be used if the counts are very low and maybe some immune boosting foods and patience. No problem with repeating the blood draws so we can just monitor what's happening"

The gist of this is that I may need to be a "girl in a bubble" for a bit until we know what we're working with. I'll be getting the first draw a week from today and have prepped this mind not to be surprised by anything I see...unless it's pleasant of course! LOL!

In the meantime, I just implore the same methods I used to beat RONA, because, ironically they are actually the same methods that help regenerate new t-cells! Fancy that!

Anyhow - Have a beautiful, blessed day everyone. It's been a gorgeous spring! I hope you enjoy a few flowers from our garden :-)

(11 comments)

11 May 2024

Well, this isn't surprising.

Okay folks - for those that have been following. Ya girl got the "Rona". Finally, after all these years. Miss "Rona" and me finally met. She threw quite an arsenal, too. I knew she would. Got all the weak spots. Fried my brain, made my joints scream, and completely took away my ability to smell.

...But, then - me and this form have an arsenal of our own. And, we'll just say we used it in spades.

Did you know that when you hit a certain level of activity, over 2000 molecular changes happen on the cellular level in your body?

That and losing over 4 lbs of sweat and "other junk" (mainly from nasal passages) is not actually a very optimal way for a virus to thrive. In fact, it considers that rather volatile especially since sweating is actually the body's natural way of detoxifying.

Miss "Rona" said, "NO, you're not going to go 24.7 miles at 244 watts for 75 minutes while I'm ravaging you!"

Me and this form said, "Oh wait bitch - you had your turn and now its ours!" We also had a fun time introducing "Rona" to 262 watts for 40 minutes yesterday. That and the weight session just dusted her ass.

"Rona" said, "You wouldn't dare get into a cold shower while I'm here.

Me and the body said, "Oh, just watch "Rona" you are going to love all those feel good endorphins the brain releases (like serotonin, dopamine, canabanoids, opiates, and other enzymes that are released that create and anti-oxidized environment and bring inflammation down!"

Turns out, "Rona" didn't much like that either. But, ya know she did me dirty and me and this form feel she needed learn what happens when you don't care what you do to an environment you come into, uninvited.

So, Miss "Rona" has taken her leave. However, now the collateral damage. I feel very certain the 40% of my WBC's I have left after taking an immunosuppressant for all these years did exactly what they were supposed to do. I do not think there is ANY new lesion or MS activity.

BUT, I am now concerned about how many of my t-cells I have left after this battle.

Common colds and other flu's won't tank me too bad. But, "Rona's" a different story. She's known to tank WBC's even in folks who are not on any kind of immunosuppressant. So, a blood test will be needed, pronto.

Most of us can operate fine on 40% of our immune system. But, I do actually need some t-cells in order to fend off just the common stuff. So, we shall see what happens.

It's all good...Have a blessed and healthy day, Everyone! Cheers to conquering my first "Rona" battle. :-)

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
53.5 kg	41.7 kg	0 kg	Reasonably Well

(20 comments) Losing 1.9 kg a Week

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