Baby Monkeh's Journal, 19 Nov 20

Controlling if you started losing weight? It almost seems like they feel confident in you “being fat” so you don’t “leave them” cause you can’t get someone better when “fat”? Not my words and I know it sounds harsh and horrible, but that’s the thing that some people sometimes experience. Probably have a talk about your relationship and explain that you love them no matter how hot you look. That you didn’t “settle” for them. God I’m reading what I wrote and it sounds so bad, but honestly, it’s something I felt once in my life and something that some people felt towards their partners. Just trying to be helpful and share this. Maybe that’s the case. 

I knew this experience... but then he was an emotionally abusive all rounder. Angry if I didn’t lose, angry if I lost. 

I haven’t experienced this but I have observed it. It’s just another way some men use to control their partner and it is abusive. Alarm bells. 

I have had a controlling partner but not in that way. not about food. just a lot of other things 🦧 I was listening to a podcast about poor Hannah Clarke and her family and this giant check-list of emotional coercion, it's abuse but not necessarily like a black eye, overtly physical violence abuse. it is less visible stuff, all still abuse just a little less obvious to the outside world. Can be just as insidious and apparently a common one tends to be weight-related aka "you're so fat and ugly and stupid so don't even bother trying to lose weight " because they know if you lose weight and get stronger physically you will likely grt stronger mentally and be less susceptible to their crap. and if you manage to lose weight despite their best attempts otherwise, you might leave them. they have less control over you. it is very scary for them.