annmarchant's Journal, 31 Jul 21

we're all human, and it's small steps on this journey. it's especially hard when we're looking after others. I'll share a couple of things that have helped me recently... 1. I've bought sugar free (chocolate and sweets) and gone low carb... my cravings for those things totally reduced after a week. 2. I bought a vibration plate because I struggle to exercise, and that's been amazing. Best of luck.  

Be patient with yourself, and start each day fresh. We all have our struggles but I know for me - it is my relationship with food when I feel emotional. The moment I don't feel in control - I reach for the heaviest carbs I can! As with @Zizzlem, I followed low carb with great success, but now have shifted to a (mostly) vegetarian diet. That is great, but I'm not losing weight yet (need to give up the noodles😁). My advice? Keep trying new things/ways until you find the thing that works for you - everyone is different! Best of luck friend x 

I feel for you so much ❣ I know it's not easy when you have to look after other people...yet you need some help yourself. It is extremely hard when you're struggling, depressed, anxious, everything and I mean everything is overwhelming & zero motivation. Please don't be hard on yourself, take one day at a time...the fact that you still get out of bed and look after your family, shows how strong you are !!! Tips: I pick out a day that im starting my Diet/Lifestyle change and make a promise to myself. I also have Post-It Notes on my fridge and pantry that say, "Stop"...this reminds me when I want to emotional eat, not to. I also watch some weight loss stories on YouTube, for motivation & sticking to my diet. I believe that you can do this !!! Sending virtual support and hugs your way. I'll say some prayers for you 🙏. I wish you all the best 😊 (p.s I never usually comment on anything online, but my heart goes out to you, as I know depression & anxiety all to well and how debilitating it is) 

Reserve your energy for a little smile. Be happy with what you do even if you don't see it. Don't be disappointed since a person who fall today will stand up and run tomorrow. Forming a smile creates a spark of light that warms the heart and soothes the body, mind, and soul. 

Hi, I'm in the same boat. Had a bad divorce and then two struggling parent. Dad was blind and was very depressed. He died a few months ago and now Mum needs me around, so I'm staying with her. I've gained heaps of weight and am struggling to lose it. I know I comfort eat and so I'm hoping I can control my over eating. I know for me that eating carbs makes me want to eat more, eating protein makes me feel full. I also try to eat lots of fibre especially at the start of the day to control my ongoing anxiety. Have started meditating at night and in the morning us using Zen12. Not sure if this will work or not. I initially felt more anxious, but now I'm feeling a little better. Just started this app - third day. We're all in the same boat. Just keep going. 

Ann, have you considered checking with your doctor to see if there is a medication that can help balance out your depression? Sometimes, our brain chemicals get out of whack, and there are some really good medications that can give us stability and make us more productive. I know that when I'm not taking my meds, I have ZERO motivation - I won't even pick up a piece of paper from the floor, I'll just walk right by it for days. Hopefully, your depression and the weight of your responsibilities and losses hasn't got you to that severe of a state yet. Praying God will give you the answers you need for the success you deserve! 

My dear you certainly have etession and from someone who is disabled and very isolated I know how you can quickly go downhill. PLEASE take the advice and get some antidepressants. Also find a walking buddy. A friend that will not only keep you motivated to go for a walk each day but maybe give you a laugh away from the hard things in your life. YOU need some QUALITY you time with good friends! It can make the world of difference! Good luck! 

Big hugs Annmarchant ❤️ Admitting that you need help is a huge step already! Well done you! Like others have said , please consider talking to your doctor. I was feeling suicidal in 2018. I finally realised that I had to be healthy and mentally sound to care for my child and spouse who both have medical attention. It was hard to admit that I needed help. I finally brave myself to see a doctor. I am glad I did. I was put on antidepressants and it helps . It wasn’t easy journey but I am no longer obese. I still haven’t reached my ideal weight for my height ( pretty short ) but I feel heaps better than before. No more joint pains and breathe better. My faith in God is restored too. I still don’t have a buddy or a friend but somehow It’s ok. I feel ok now. You can do it! 

I gradually cut my meals intake. I used to eat constantly even at 2am. I then gradually cut down sugar intake ( sweets, drinks ), carbohydrates ( bread, pasta, rice ) , fried food. It’s super hard. I also hate exercising but forced myself to start walking ( slowly) for 45 mins. That was the initial phase. 

Don’t be upset with yourself! You are doing good! Just one step at a time! It’s very hard when you are overwhelmed and not in the good place! Consider get yourself some professional help like GP, therapist or registered dietitian! First you need to deal with your emotions, get them sorted then you will be in a good place to start your journey to the healthy weight! Sometimes we are just not in the right state of mind to start a diet. That was advice from a Nutritionist 🌹 

PLEASE, PLEASE don't give up Annmarchant. I actually know what it's like to care for sick people. I cared for my mum (RIP) for 32 years, & a brother, Jack, who had an intellectual disability for 20 of those years, when Mum couldn't care for him any more...AND & I have other siblings but in all that time, they NEVER lifted a finger to help. It's strange that while Mum & Jack were both living, I slept about 3-4 hours per day, & rarely stopped, but I didn't really take such good care of myself either & ate all the wrong stuff, especially sweets; cakes & lollies were my downfall, sometimes eating a whole bag of Allens Killer Pythons most evenings. My life revolved around caring for both of them for so long. But then my beautiful brother, Jack, unexpectedly died in his sleep, 3 years ago, & that's when I hit rock bottom. I was inconsolable for almost 2 years & just wasn't interested in anything, except comfort eating. Hubby & I had a small business at the time, & I just didn't want to be there, even though most of our customers showed me more love & compassion, when Jack died, than my other siblings did. I sometimes went 3 days without sleep & other days I would 'sleep' for 16 hours or more. I started eating so much junk food, especially Maccas, which I don't even like. But last year we sold our business, in the midst of the pandemic, & about 2 months later, I suddenly woke up, & realised that I was just as important than anyone else, so I started taking better care of myself, & realised that I now have time to finally spoil myself, & I certainly deserved it. The only thing I couldn't do was give up my food, even though I stopped eating so much junk food. I'm an ex-chef, & Mum & I shared a love of cooking, so food has always been a sentimental thing for me. It was only when I injured my good knee a few months ago, & struggled to walk a few metres on my bad leg, that I realised something had to give. And lucky for me, I met a Dr who was finally gutsy enough to tell me I was not only fat, but actually obese & the best thing I could do for (all) my aches & pains, not just for my knees, is to "cut calories" He actually said, "you don't need to diet, you just need to cut calories & go easy on the sweets", which really resonated with me, & thanks to him, I've lost almost 8kgs in 8 weeks. The first 4 weeks were the hardest; I was getting annoyed because it "seemed" expensive, & I just wanted a bloody lollies. But now as each week approaches, I feel more & more energised & motivated to do it, even in the weeks that I only lost a few grams. And as far as expensive goes, I realised that we're actually spending a little less, because..surprise, surprise...we're eating NO junk food, & no take-aways anymore...NONE at all. No chips, no lollies, no cheezels to munch on, while watching TV. There are just a couple of treat things (each) that hubby & I have in the house now, BUT we only have them twice a week, as a genuine treat, & only in small amounts. And once we get to a "maintenance" phase, the only junk food that we'll probably get is the odd kebab, if we're out & about, because I like mine with lots of salad, anyway. So, basically, I took what that ballsy doctor told me & decided to use my own personal experience, managing the wellbeing of 2 other people, to now "care for myself" because I'm just as, if not more, important. And SO are you!!! YOU ARE IMPORTANT!! Whilst your mother & sister are important, & obviously rely on you; YOU are the most important person in your life, so if you don't care for yourself, then you'll be no good to anyone else. It's funny how people think that buying nice things, like shoes & handbags, or shouting yourself to a holiday or massage, is spoiling yourself, when in reality, taking better care of your own well-being is genuinely spoiling yourself; the rest will follow suit. And you deserve to spoil yourself, more than most, with everything that you're doing & going through. So stick it out, because if I've learned anything in life, is that you can always rely on the kindness of strangers & you'll have plenty of support here. Cheers & take good care  

Well done in taking positive steps in reaching out. I think that’s the hardest. The realisation is very daunting but there’s always someone to help. Initially reducing sugar and fried food does wonders to reducing those kg. Mental health is the most important. Keep well 

Every day is a new day. You didn't fail, you just weren't ready to start yet. You might have many false starts before you are ready. Once you are, you will have a determination to eat well. As soon as you see the weight going down, that will give you more determination. Just make sure you look after yourself and be kind to yourself.  

pain and many things equals overeating. I love that no one is judgemental. I find it hard at times to look at myself and say I'm still beautiful. depression, caring for others, menopause. Its easy to put the weight on but so hard to take off 🥰 

I admire your strength to try and become lighter and healthier and it is definately super hard when you are a carer for family and also grieving. Its tough just to motivate for anything. My journey is similar . My dietician has been helpful with some little tips, so Im taking them on. I need to increase my calcium and vit d so I check on everything I eat to ensure its full of the most nutrition. Swapped icecream for yoghurt and have it daily on cereal and or for evening dessert. I like to fill up with veges, that really helps try swapping out potatoes for cauli mash and I love cheese corn thins (my new salt and vinegar chips). Corn thins are tasty and low cals.I am going over my calorie goal, but im still eating less calories than what I was originally eating , so baby steps is the way to go. Slow weight loss is the best for keeping it off. Walking with the people you are caring for would be good for you and them. Sunshine is good medicine, it will lift your spirits give you vit d and may work off a few calories . Keep trying but dont stress about it. You will be fine , just gradually make adjustments.  

Hang in there. We’re all here for you 

Psalm 121 

I really feel for you and am sure you are doing your best. My advice would be to work on one change at a time ( not food exercise and sleep all at once). Best bang for buck would be a walk around the block straight after you get up. Go to bed in your walking clothes if it helps. After a while you will look forward to waking up and getting your walk in. The you can tackle other changes.